Vulnerability can be your greatest strength as a leader, especially if, like me, you grew up playing a certain “role.” I used to be the consummate doer: reserved, “unemotional,” always striving for a sense of worth tied to how much I achieved or how well I performed.
Perfection became my armour. I’d pour myself into client sessions and career milestones, but always kept my deepest fears and challenges invisible, even while guiding others to their potential.
From Perfectionism to Real Connection
The turning point came for me after burning out on that constant hustle for adequacy. Coaching high-performing professionals showed me that my own emotional distance wasn’t just isolating me; it was blocking the level of change I hoped to see in the people around me.
I started simple: sharing small stories about times I’d failed, or struggles with my own health and mindset, in both group sessions and private consults. It didn’t come easily, but the return was powerful.
Each Story Opens a Door
Clients and friends would often say, “It’s hard to read you” or wonder if I ever felt stressed or challenged. Once I started opening up, even a little, I noticed a visible shift: conversations deepened, teams engaged more, and one-on-one clients took bigger risks because they saw their own stories reflected in mine.
I remember sharing, for the first time, that I’d resisted vulnerability out of a belief it equalled weakness. To my surprise, it brought relief to others who’d been quietly carrying similar beliefs. Over four months, the level of connection and trust in my circles grew.
How to Practice Vulnerability
Self-Awareness: Journaling became a non-negotiable for me. By naming my emotions each day, especially in moments I wanted to hide, I could spot where perfectionism was keeping me rigid, and identify which parts of myself I thought I needed to hide.
Reveal and Relate: I committed to reveal something real in every session: a challenge, a lesson learned, or even a moment of uncertainty during large team workshops.
Say How You Feel: If I felt unprepared, anxious, or doubtful, I let it be known. Naming emotions out loud fostered a sense of psychological safety for me and for my clients. Suddenly, others followed suit.
The Ripple Effects in Wellness and Leadership
Working with executives and teams has proven that when leaders show vulnerability, culture shifts from the inside out. People feel seen, performance improves, and innovation finally gets some room to breathe.
Whether developing new wellness habits or transforming company culture, the first “aha” for my clients often comes not from a tactical program win, but the courage to have that first, open conversation.
As someone who once wore stoicism like a badge, I now embrace moments of emotion, sometimes crying in front of peers or clients without a second thought. The real magic is that these displays of honesty inspire others to drop the act, too. Wellness gets more practical and more personal because it’s finally real.
Lean into your story, and let vulnerability be your superpower, both in wellness and at work. The transformation starts from within and invites your team to follow.