My last blog was about learning to love your body and embracing the term ” strong is the new sexy”. Now although this is true and is definately a shift in the right direction when it comes to body acceptance, there is still a missing piece of the puzzle. On our journey to embracing our bodies, the truth is that it goes beyond accepting our physical appearance.
We live in a society that promotes and has engrained in us the idea that having a more attractive body will get you a better job, the right partner and increase your popularity. This is the major driving force behind why people start working out and want to look better.
I’m going to be very raw and upfront but for many years, i got sucked into this mentality and really saw myself as simply ” a body” without a soul. It was always you are only good enough if your body looks this way, people will only be attracted to you if it looks perfect. I completely dismissed any of my other personal qualities for years and realized how destructive that was.
I couldn’t love my body because I saw it as a limiting factor in all areas of my life.
When we dig deep and get to the root of it, it’s not actually really about your body. I’ve had clients say ” when I lose 10lbs I will be happy” ” When i can fit into a bikini my life will change”. We have seemed to mesh the two together: Body Esteem and self-esteem when they are in fact two very distinct things. The way that we feel about ourselves is wrapped into how we feel about our bodies.
I thought that because I was obsessed with my thighs and didn’t like them that it’s simply because I didn’t like them but that wasn’t the case. I was channeling other issues onto my body because it was an easy target on which to place blame. It is something you can control, cutting back on calories and exercising is much easier than addressing some underlying core issue.
It really blew my mind that no matter how good I looked I still wasn’t content with myself. It’s so common to see people change their appearance and still not be satisfied with it. In fact, a lot of those individuals have the best physiques and put a lot of effort into maintaining it. The bottom line is they haven’t put enough effort into learning self-compassion and being empathetic towards themselves. It’s something that has been overlooked and shoved under the rug.
The best thing to do is push yourself out of your comfort zone. If you are struggling with loving your body, you first need to seperate body-esteem from self-esteem and focus on the feelings you have about your body. Think about what events have been or have happened in your life and this will help you understand the source of your negative body feelings.
From this, you can begin self-compassion, forgiveness and ultimately learn self-love. Once you learn to do this in the body that you currently have, I guarantee you that positive feelings towards your body will come much more easily.